Teen by Day, Spy by Night
by paintingskylines
Summary: About Carmen's teen life and spy life. rated t for curses
1. Spy Kids: Normal?

The Life Of A Spy Not Being A Spy

_Dear Diary,_

_Daddy just gave my a new diary! And it plays music Ugh! Juni is SO annoying. I can't put on nail polish czu it makes him sick or I can't leave the house to go out with Derek and leave him home alone. Sometimes I love being normal, but then again sometimes I hate it, like school. Oh and did I meantion that this diary is like an iPhone, the one that the super star Mikayla has, I was so excited. But when Juni dashed water on it, I started to cry so Daddy got me a new one, more advanced. And only I can get in it! No more Juni looking at my secrets. I'm not writing in my password, because Juni will find out. But I forgot it was voice activated. Ha ha Juni ( if your read this0 Daddy loves me more, and spoils me more. _

_Love,_

_Carmen_

_xxDerkx _

_my life is derek He's tghe perfect boy! :) _

"Carmen!" my mom yelled. "Time for school!"

"Ugh!" I thought. "I'm a spy and I have to go to school?"

"Carmen!" my mom yelled. "Get your ASS down here now!"

Wow, my mom said _ass _but I can't see Superbad with my boyfriend Derek.

"I'm coming!" I yelled down to my mom.

"OK," she said.

I was seeing Derek after school so I put on some purple eyeshadow and blue eyeliner and nail polish right when Juni walked in.

"Ew," Juni said. "That nail polish is stinking up the bathroom!"

"Well get over it and friking leave!" I said.

"Fine!" Juni said.

"Carmen you ready yet?" my dad asked.

"Yeah Daddy," I said. "Don't pick me up today Derek and I are going somewhere."

"OK!" my dad. "But if he is a two-timing fugly boob, don't say I didn't warn you Carmen."

"OK whatev," I said. "Mom let's go I have to be at school early!"

Juni walked down and said, "To have a make out session with your little Derek-Bearie-Poo?"

"Shut up!" I yelled and I slapped him.

"I was just joking around!" he said.

"Well it's not funny you idiot!" I snapped. "And I'm meeting up with Emily to make sleepover plans!"

"Girls," Juni sighed.

"At least we don't pick our noses!" Carmen yelled.

"Uhg!" Juni groaned.

"OK kids time for school!" my mom yelled as we got in the car.

A few minutes later we were parked at my school the Riffle High (I am in 9th grade). I get dropped off first because I usually get what I want. So then I met up with Emily to discuss plans. The bell rings I groan as I go to Spanish. My worst subject. I am failing. Derek rocks at it though so I go to him for help to bring it up to a C+. Senoria Halko our teacher wrote on the board my least favorite thing: POP QUIZ. I actually got most of the answers and now i have a C+. My worst subject, still. The bell rang and I went to English where I sat next to Derek and we mostly made out the whole class when our teacher Mrs. Geeonmee is not looking.

"So we still up for afterschool babee?" Derek asked me.

"You bet we are biotch," I said tickling his chin.

"OK good," he said.

Mrs. Geeonmee turned from trhe board and asked, "Did I hear someone say BITCH?"

The room was silent.

"ONE OF YOU FUGLY CREEPY BITCHES SHOW YOURSELF!" she shouted.

"Hey Mrs. G you _are _showing yourself!" Derek yelled.

The whole clas bursted out laughing.

"Any one of you friking creeps want detention?" she asked.

Cricket! Cricket! The room was silent.

The bell rang and it was time for the second to last period of the day, Choice. Choice is where you can do anything you want and based on what you did they give you a homework assignment. I love choice. I built a machine and my homework was to write an advertisement for my machine. My machine is the "Maze" it ia a computer that can shape-shift into over 454,454,565,454 things.

Well the bell rang and it was time for art. I drew a few kids at the movies eating popcorn. It got an A+! I was pretty happy about that.

Then it was time to go home or make out with Derek or "my little Derek-Bearie-Poo" as my jackass brother called him.

"Hey Car," Derek said.

"Oh hey Derry," I said giggling.

"So ready to make out in my new," Derek started to say.

"CAR??" I yelled. "Yay!"  
"Yup," he said kissing me. "All 34 of them."

"You're perfect!" I said.

So we got in his car and started making out.

He decided we should go out for coffee at Starbucks and then go catch a flick and go home.

So we split a Javachino with whipped cream and ice cream. And then we saw The Forbidden Kingdom and then we went home. I did my homework. And then I called Derek. And he doesn't know that I'm a SPY KID! So all I say is "Gotta go Derry!" and don't say why.

So the next Chapter will be me Carmen Cortez as a kicking ass bitchy, shitaki mushroomy SPY KID!

Real Spies, Only Smaller (c) -- The OOS Jr slogan.

Derek


	2. Chapter 2: As a Kick Ass Spy

Carmen Cortez As A Spy

"Carmen!" my mom shouted. "It's time to go to your OSS meeting!"  
Crap! I completly forgot. The meeting was with-- OMG, Tyra Banks.

"OK Mommy I'll uh be down in like 20 minutes!" I shouted back.

"OK Carmen," she said over the staits.

I texted my OSS best friend, Gurdy:

_MommaMia-(Mom)- will me known as Mia_

_Mission-of-Love(Carmen) will be known as Mission _

_Tornado-of-Hair(Gurdy)- will be known as Tornado_

_Mission- Hey Gurds! Did ya hear wat the big meet is with??_

_Tornado-No who??_

_Mission- Tyra Banks!_

_Tornado- OMG! Car PRIMP!!_

_Mission- I knowwwww_

_Tornado- haha.. o g2g sorry carcar_

_Mission- its cool... bye i g2g primp..._

I clicked my Voyager off and started doing my hair, exercising and makeup. The next thing you know I'm a hottie! I ran downstairs where Juni was.

"Hey slut!" he said. "Show some more skin-- if you can!"

That did it I told him to sit down. He sat down. We shook hands-- and then I flipped him over.

"Ow!" Juni said. "Take a chill pill!!"

"Whatev," I said. "I really need to go, don't touch anything at all!"

"Why not?" Juni said.

"Because I'll flip you-- for real this time if I find out you have touched any of my stuff!" I yelled.

"Fine!" Juni said. "Have fun at the OSS meeting it stands for Original Slipping Strippers right?"

I flipped him over-- again. I ran to the OSS meeting. Crap, I was 5 minutes late. I couldn't find a place to park my red Lambrigini. I turned on my phone to listen to some tunes while I watied for the valet when I got a text from Gurdy.

_Tornado- OMG! She's here.. where are u car??_

_Mission- no place 2 park waiting 4 valet_

_Tornado- o ok i'll tell the head_

_Mission- thanks gurd_

_Tordnado- No problem Carcar!! :-D_

_Mission- haha oh the valet boy is here, and he's cute._

Right then I took a pic of him and sent it to Gurdy.

_Tornado- UR right! Go get him_

_Mission- Naw u can have him.. :-D_

_Tornando- why?? _

_Mission- Dereks all mine!! _

_Tornado- haha-- i saw him hottie alert! i guess the valet is mine!! :)_

_Mission- Yuppie_

_Tornado- We still up 4 our stuff??_

_Mission- u bet gurdsssss_

_Tornado- OK Come on Tyra is here!!_

_Mission- OK coming._

I clicked my phone to vibrate and put it in my backpack. I ran to the meet.

"Sorry I'm late," I said. "Valet boy took foreva!"

"Just sit," a voice said.

So I sat down and we stated talking.

Gurdy raised her hand and asked, "OK so what about Tyra Banks?"

And all of us were like, "Ya Tyra Tyra Tyra!"

She emerged from a bubble seat and said, "Thanks here I am!"

"I have had people sneaking around and doing stuff to ruin my rep and I needy YOU guys to help!"

Gurdy and I raised our hand way up high together.

Tyra noticed our hands and pointed to me.

"Uh how many do you need?" I asked.

"Uh one level one and one level two," she replied.

"Well Gurdy and I'll do it!" I said.

"OK girls this is seroius though," Tyra said.

"Ow!" I said.

My phone started to vibe like CRAZZZAYYY!!

"One sec please!" I said as I walked out.

I picked up my phone and said hello.

It was my Daddy he got me 34 other cars! I said thanks and texted Gurdy. She was like OMG! And don't call me spoiled, I just get a lot of things. I don't even ask for them.

I walked back into the room. Tyra noticed my rocking boy, I think.

"Carmen right?" she asked.

"Yup that's me," I said smiling.

"Uh since you don't wanna be like body guards wanna be a model?" she asked.

"Uh yeah," I said. "Can Gurds be one too?"

"Sure," she said.

I texted Gurdy:

_Mission: squeals_

_Tornado: I knowwww squeals like 3435 times_

_Mission- haha_

Tyra noticed us texting and said, "What were you guys texting about?"

"How glad we were to work with you," I said smiling.

"OK moving on," she said. "Let's talk about my people!"

"Your what?" a guy asked.

"My people who can eat but have to do everything anyone working with me says," she softly said winking at me and Gurdy.

A few minutes later we left. Gurdy and I dug out to Ben and Jerry's and then decided to go to a theme park. My mom texted me then saying:

_Mia- Carmen Cortez where are you??_

_Mission- with gurdy at a theme park..._

_Mia- be home by 6:00 ok hon_

_Mission- Yupp o and Juni hurt me today tears_

_Mia- he did??_

_Mission- Yeah he called me a slut and said i was a stripper and that OSS stood for Original Slipping Strippers. and he said show some skin if you can.. tears _

_Mia- I'm out shopping for dinner so tell him he's grounded k hon?_

_Mission- OK mommy i guess..._

_Mia- Love ya..._

_Mission- Love ya 2 mommy bye_

_Mia-bye _

I clicked off my Voyager and skipped all around the theme park. I told Gurdy and she almost died laughing. So I got home parked my

in my garage. I didn't wanna sleep in my house today.

"Hey Juni!" I yelled. "You are grounded!"

"What??'' Juni yelled.

"Yuppie!" I said. "Mommy said."

"No she did not," Juni cried.

"Call her," I said.

Sure enough he did and he went to his his room crying. I love my life.

Be sure to check out tomorrow!!


End file.
